Submarine Found in Dominican Bay
No survivors found yet...
Divers made an astonishing find last month, when they came across a real submarine, 20ft under the water in the usually quiet Cofresi bay, just west of Puerto Plata city. No sailors or pirates were found aboard.
Thankfully, the submarine was not armed and it does not appear that it was ever a threat to the peaceful inhabitants of Cofresi.
We caught up with local scuba-dive instructor and original finder, Weindie K. Ichtbucket who teaches at Sosua based ‘Dive like a Stone’ dive school.
We asked him if he’d known there was a wreck out there, and had he taken any students out there?
“No, certainly not,” Weindie exclaimed. “If I had known about zis amazing discowevy before, I vud certainly be taking my studentz to wisit it.”
“Normally ve just tow ze old Corollas out to zea and zink dem, so studentz can dive ze weck. Ze PADI certification does no specify it ‘as to be a ‘ship’ weck, just a weck. Ze pwoblem is, if we leave ze Corollas in ze zea for more zhan a couple of veeks, zey are not so eazy to zell, and we ‘ave to give zem to ze local taxi dwivers.”
A lid was kept on the shocking discovery by order of the president himself, and only the Gringo Times were allowed access to take photos.
We watched (from a local beach bar) as an international team from Canada spent 8 days examining the find, before bringing the sub to the surface ready for restoration.
Initial suspicions from the team that it was a Dominican sub were quashed when no merengue CD’s were found onboard.
Also, the words, “Made in England” were discovered imprinted into the steel hull.
After negotiating with the bar owner about the bar bill, we rang the British MOD (Ministry of Defence) to ask if they could provide any more information on this submarine, and what is was doing in Dominican waters.
Spokesperson for the MOD, Sir Walter Cannondale gave us the intel.
“Look chaps“, he confessed. “ I really don’t think this thingy you’ve found came from our boys.”
“I’ve asked around the chaps at the Navy, and nobody remembers sending any boats to the West Indies.”
“Not since 1844, anyway.”
“And we’re pretty bloody sure we never painted any of our subs yellow.”
“I mean, what a gawd awful colour”.
Having drawn a blank with the MOD, we thought we’d investigate a bit further with some of the locals. Perhaps some of the old British guys would remember something about this yellow submarine.
It didn’t take long before we had some fresh leads. We soon discovered that apparently there used to be an old rock and pop band in the 1970’s called the Beatles. Allegedly, they created an exploratory video with some of their own homespun music about a trip on a yellow submarine they were planning to build.
We wanted to get to the bottom of this so we contacted one of the original band’s members, Sir Paul McCartney to ask for his Help.
His secretary, Mrs Eleanor Rigby was at first a bit dismissive about granting an interview. “You’ll have to come yesterday.” She said. “He’s a real nowhere man these days. He’s out on a magical mystery tour today, and tomorrow he’s fixing the helter-skelter”
It sounded like we were going to have a hard day’s night.
We asked if we could have a ticket to ride?
“No, I’m only sleeping, but you can drive my car“, she proffered helpfully.
We thought a bit of flirting might ease the situation. “Got to get you into my life,” I said.
When I’m sixty-four,” she replied, which I assumed was a dismissal. “Are you Mother Nature’s son, or are you a blackbird. “
“I am the walrus”, I answered, not so truthfully. I wondered if all Brits were this strange. ”Tell me why?”
“Look, it’s not 1966,”she said. “In my life, things don’t always come together.”
I asked Eleanor if we could visit Paul at his home in Norwegian Wood in the UK.
“No, that won’t be possible,” she said, “But if you drop by the recording studio in Penny Lane, I’ll try to get you an audience.”
“It won’t be long. All I’ve got to do is call him.”
That was certainly music to our ears.
“Thank you girl”, I said. “I should have known better. I wanna hold your hand.”
And with that we parted sweet company, and me and the team went out for a night on the sauce.
Next day, we met up with Sir Paul at his studio.
We first asked Paul whether he preferred merengue or bachata?
“I’ve not got much of a sweet-tooth,” he confessed, “More of a fish and chips guy.”
We then asked Paul if it was likely that the Beatles would reform and tour again.
“Unlikely,” he said. “There’s only me left.”
“What about Ringo?” we asked.
“Of course, that’s what I said, me and Ringo.”
We probed a bit deeper.
“So, Macca – did you and Bee Gees ever build a submarine – a yellow one?”
“I’d prefer it if you just called me Paul,” he said.
“Ok, Macca, back in the old days, did you consider yourself a bit of a rolling stone?”
“Not really,” he answered, “Me and the other guys, Sergeant Pepper, Rocky Racoon, Bungalow Bill and the fool on the hill all used to dig Sexy Sadie. But then that lovely Rita came along and left Lucy in the sky with no money, just some diamonds.
“Obviously, it’s getting better, but I still felt like we were fixing a hole.
But hey, it’s only love, and I’m a loser. I like rock and roll music, every little thing, and I don’t want to spoil the party.
“And the submarine?” I interjected.
“Yes, I’m getting to that”, he replied. “The night before Dizzy Miss Lizzy, another girl and Michelle all met up with Doctor Robert, the taxman.
She said, she said something that I’ll always remember to this day.
‘Everybody's got something to hide except me and my monkey’
“And to this day, I’m not really sure what she was trying to tell me.”
“Ok Macca, can you tell us about the sub?” we pressured.
“Don’t bother me. I see what you’re doing. Everybody’s trying to be my baby. Act naturally, tell me what you see. You like me too much. Good night”
And with that the security guard pushed us out the door.
With our brief trip to the UK having been less than fruitful, we decided to fly over to Kansas in our private jet to chat with the other remaining Beatles member, Ringo Starr.
“Ringo, did you or any of the other guys ever have a real yellow submarine?” we asked.
“Man, it was a long time ago.” He told us. “We did a lot of stuff that I don’t remember. It’s quite possible.”
“Can you recall what was your inspiration for the Yellow Submarine?”
“Ah, difficult to remember exactly what we were on – it was certainly good stuff.”
“I do remember though, in the town where I was born lived a man who sailed to sea.”
“Ah ok, did he help you build a submarine?”
“I also remember he told us of his life in the land of submarines.”
“I see, and how did you guys get involved.”
“They were crazy days. The one time we sailed up to the sun till we found a sea of green
“You catchin’ my drift?”
“Er, I think so,” we said, getting increasingly confused.
“And we lived beneath the waves, in a manner of speaking, in our yellow submarine.”
“So you did have a submarine?” we confirmed.
“But now, hey, we live a life of ease, and I can even say that everyone of us is all we need.
I mean man, look out the window, Sky of blue, and look out that window - sea of green
Back then, it was like we all lived in a mellow tub of cream.”
At this point we could see where the interview was going. “Ah, thanks for that Ringo – deep thoughts. Can you sign this for my sister?”
(Editor’s note: You can bid for the signed copy of “Yellow Submarine on Ebay, auction number 1526245.)
We thought we’d give Yoko Ono a quick call, as maybe it was a project that John was involved in.
Unfortunately, we realised that the July deadline for the next issue of the Gringo Times was approaching and we didn’t have much more time to waste in the private jet, so we flew to Hawaii for a few days surfing instead.
We did manage to dig up some actual evidence of the Beatles involvement in the submarine.
Fig A shows the original blueprint for the submarine which we found in one of Macca’s drawers. As you can see, the design is unique and quite complex.
Fig B shows a photo of one of the prototypes, which we believe was taken in 1969 in Paul’s back garden.
That’s all we’ve managed to unearth so far, but if any readers have more info on this story, be sure to keep it to yourself. As far as we’re concerned, this case is closed.
This was for me one of the most enjoyable interviews I’ve ever done. The 60’s eh? Those beetle guys sure are some crazy dudes.
What have we got now to compare? Britney, Timberlake, Kelly Clarkson, finalists from American Idol and a whole load of other muppets I can’t even remember. What’s the world coming to? Thankfully, we’ve managed to get a scoop interview with the lovely Paris Hilton, see page 14.
Ok, if you’re reading this and it’s really late – maybe you’re at a bar and that cute guy or gal has just walked off - or you’re at home with a
hing to do, grab yourself another cuba libre and see if you can spot how many Beatles song titles we shoehorned into this article. The answer is on page…, oh, here it is, the answer is 50, I think. First one to email the correct list to us gets a
50” Sony Hi-Def Plasma Widescreen mention in the next issue.
Sir Paul McCartney (a.k.a. Macca) giving a speech at the
annual Gringo Times Awards Night
Comments from readers
I have just been reading your 2007 article on the submarine found in the Dominican Bay (http://gringo-times.com/articles/2007/dominican-submarine.php) that appeared in a Google search of mine.
And I think I may know why it would have Made in England stamped or otherwise engraved into it: The submarine in question looks similar both in profile and size to the Royal Navy Holland Class submarines built under licence from John .P Holland by Vickers in England.
Although, the submarine residing in the bay looks to have been modified by the addition of ports at the bow and being painted yellow yet stripped because of the lack of decking, rudder, elevator, propeller, ect...
My assumption on the modifications and the yellow paint, is that ether this is a more recent updated private replication of John Holland's design, or that most of these craft were sold around 1914 by the Royal Navy to scrap merchants and that not all of them who made it to the scrap yard were cut up and destroyed as such.
And from my own experience with enquires to the MoD, they don't have the longest of memories, the approximate 1902 to 1914 timeframe would be a bit out of their off-hand expertise.
If anything I hope this information may yield some interest to the investigators if this is still being investigated.